Man: I’ve been thinking…

I’m the man of this house, so starting tomorrow I want to have a hot, delicious meal ready for me the second I walk through that door…

Afterwards, while watching ESPN and relaxing in my chair, you’ll bring me slippers and then run my bath…

And when I’m done with my bath, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?

Woman: The funeral director!

A joke seen on one of the office doors in my department.