IMG_046910. Food. There is a certain pain in hearing the words fufu, amala, iyan, gbegiri, ewédú or egúsí from this distance. And no, I will not go into St. Louis just because of them, although once in a while it might be worth it. From now on, I forbid anyone to mention the following words to me in online chats: snail, okú ekó, panla or ponmo. Or akpu, ogbono and afang. All the defaulters will take turns to host me in their houses as soon as I return home.

9. Books. It is very funny to admit that I am now a slow reader. I am surrounded by televisions and internet with twitter beeps, facebook status updates and Skype chats. That is when I’m not busy worrying about class. When will I get the time to complete these great books?

8. People. This is not to say that I was much of a crowd person back home anyway, but let me just say – for the records – that I wish that I could sometimes take a ride in a noisy, old, half-wrecked and incredibly reckless public bus plying an equally bad road on a rainy day, either in Lagos or in Ibadan – just for simple pleasures.

7. NEPA. Or PHCN as they call it now. What is life without occasional and sometimes incessant power outages? The advantages include boredom (necessary to complete books), depression plus high testosterone levels (necessary to write poems), and idleness (necessary for communication and moonlight/candle light stories).

6. Dogs. Eight months seems like a long time to wait before seeing Scotty, Rex, Bobby, Tessie and Snoopy with her new puppies. Do they miss me too?

5. Family. Yea, yea. There is definitely the over rated family experience, but, what can I say. There’s no place like home. This time, I hope the honeymoon will last for more than a month before we get back to the screams: “Kolaaa! Who if not you left the front door open for the dogs to walk in and jump on the couch!?” Aaaaargh. I miss that.

4. Love. Do not ask me for more on this. There is no law against desiring a reconnection with home on a romantic level.

3. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. I have seen a few episodes here in Illinois, and I can also say that the TV programming here is enchanting. However, I can’t wait to be able to see NTA’s version again. How could I explain my hurt that I was not able to see the first time a Nigerian won the top prize of 10 Million Naira?

2.  Friends. Although I expect that many of them would have moved on from their current positions by the time I get back home, and the congenial landscape would have definitely changed in some way, I do hope to see them again.

1. Well, it’s called “home”, and there’s no place like home.

Read the “10 Reasons Why I DON’T Miss Home” here.