One of the hardest punches of exile for those who choose it above the shackles of hopelessness and the frustration of home must be loneliness, and perhaps a certain pull towards old sources of their romantic filling. I believe it now. The mind wanders, wondering what must it be like for them, the travellers running away from fiery dictators, while risking the lives of their families still left in the jaws of the fiery dragon. Even for those with breaking or troubled families, the pain of distance could be a sure enough catalyst for at least a kind of shared grief and shared catharsis sufficient to sustain their bond across space and time.
So besides regular phone calls, text messages and long nights in the reverie of the good old times, how else does a traveller stay in touch with the feelings of what once rocked his heart with a certain kind of joy from his distant beloved? And for those on the other side of the ocean, just what sustains that drive beyond memories, hope and pride. When does temptation overtake common sense and the flood of personal desires drive the once resolute into the throes of restless passion, reckless or relaxed experimentation?
I’m not in exile thankfully, yet my case is hardly different from those far from home on causes sometimes beyond their conscious control. I am a man, thankfully also human, which could explain why food is not the only reason why I could be missing my home tonight.
1
Yemi Adesanya at http://YourWebsite
Aren’t you single? Be you, be free, be ………whatever you want to be!
Posted at December 2, 2009 on 1:58am.
2
Bola at http://YourWebsite
And I thought she was in the same country with him! 😀
Posted at December 3, 2009 on 3:58am.
3
Kola Tubosun at http://www.ktravula.com
And, aren’t the two of you not supposed to be talking about me when I’m in the room and you know that I can hear you?
Posted at December 3, 2009 on 10:05pm.
4
Bola at http://YourWebsite
Which room? And is your girl in here too? 😛
Posted at December 16, 2009 on 4:33pm.
5
buki at http://YourWebsite
Eee ya
Posted at December 2, 2009 on 6:18am.
6
Kola Tubosun at http://www.ktravula.com
What are you eeyaing about now, eh?
Posted at December 3, 2009 on 10:05pm.
7
rasheed at http://talking-muse.blogspot.com
i feel you. but the loneliness of a country that has almost everything working for her is more appreciated than the frustrations of hell like place we call ours. it is hot to be in naija as a graduate with little or no ,eans of making livelihood. just be a man and face the loneliness of obama’s land with every good thing you have at your disposal.pls, remember that your total appearance changed immediately you landed yankee. so be grateful for so many desired to be out!! LOL
Posted at December 2, 2009 on 11:46am.
8
Kola Tubosun at http://www.ktravula.com
Whew!
And this argument keeps on coming back… that to be lonely in “heaven” is better than to be happy in “hell”. Okay, maybe it’s been oversimplified in this comparison of mine, especially since America and Nigeria are not as diametrically dissimilar like heaven and hell, and I don’t think that loneliness has anything to do with wherever you are across the world. Those who are truly in exile know that the feeling of being far from their home can’t really be compensated for by technological advancement…unlimited internet, Fox news, hamburgers or the Red Sox game.
That being said, let me state for the record that I am not depressed. Neither am I deliriously desirous of Nigeria right now as to take my eyes off the advantages, thrill and daily joy of my present experience. I made the analogy in the blog entry about travellers in exile and their desires for home only because I was trying to put myself in the place of someone with family commitment in a long exile, with their family members still locked away in a place where they could never visit, and wondering just how they cope, and what they think about. You guessed right already, I would never trade this experience for anything – definitely, not for a night or nights of warm romantic hugs 😉 😀 Okay, I’ve said too much already.
Thank you Rasheed. There is hope for Nigeria, and there is hope for us as humans, wherever we are.
Posted at December 3, 2009 on 10:16pm.
9
Buki at http://YourWebsite
Eee ya! Now to have to defend your thoughts again!
Facts:
You are far from “the huggable”
You are human
You don’t plan to travel that far… for now
Its winter.
Suggestions:
1. Bury yourself in your books (deeper this time)
2. Mingle, that is, take Yemi Adesanya’s advice above
3. Join that club Bolaji Rosiji just left
4. Encourage yourself in the Lord.
Eeya, You are not born again, so you do not know what that means. Eeya.
Posted at December 16, 2009 on 5:21am.
10
Kola Tubosun at http://www.ktravula.com
You gat jokes, eh? 😉
Posted at December 16, 2009 on 9:20am.
11
Abi Idowu at http://abidowu.vpweb.co.uk
Putting the jokes aside, I get your meaning. Yeah, its great being in a country where there’s constant electricity, water, internet, phone, etc. Nothing however beats the feeling of being with. Its no wonder the holidays are the times that the suicide hotlines are working overtime. I remember calling the Samaritans in ’05 when I was all by my self and too broke to buy card to call home, that 5 mins on the phone with a random stranger helped restored my sanity.
Over here, you can really be in a crowd and yet be alone, even when you reach out, the response might not be freindly, dangerous even. Its sometimes the reason (not that I would ever advocate it though) why people stay in a bad relationship, they know its bad , but rather in one where you argue with someone, than on your own, watching TV and soaking garri while tears drip into your bowl.
Posted at January 23, 2010 on 6:12am.
12
Yemi Ademowo-Johnson at http://hawkafrica.blogspot.com
Ok. First, Kola, your point is made. But I think Abi Idowu hit the nail on the head more. I move in and out of Europe. And like I told many, if truly there is hell and heaven, then Naija is one hell on earth, and my “second home”, Norway, a heaven to behold. But the point remains that after spending three weeks, most times, am already longing to be home. Loneliness? May be. But the main reason has always been the guilt: If all Norwegians, bold and energetic, ran away about 300years ago, how will Norway become what it is today? Yes, America is ok. And some Europeans countries are wonderful to live, yet there is no place like home. And for many of us that can cease to be Africans overnight, the hugs and warmth can be gotten from the big blankets and room heaters. We can’t but feel lonely! So, to Naija I return tomorrow; to return to Europe in another tomorrow; and leave for Naija another tomorrow, ad infinitum!
Posted at February 23, 2010 on 2:54am.